Xploring stalin

Instax of recent

2012-02-06T14:28:00.001+08:00

Been ditching my dslr for fujifilm instax films. Finally got around to picking up my dslr for some shoots and my arms are aching for a few still shoots only. Grrrrrr, so louchy.

And my baby cousin! Hehe.

第一章：错配

2012-01-25T22:42:00.003+08:00

错配

人生中难免会有多少的错配的爱、恋人。

你呢？经历过多少，感受多深？

人最大的错误就是喜好自我安慰、自我催眠、一直不停的自我可怜。

错配的爱就算再短暂也背负着伤害。

单纯的梦想都会因此而受伤。

那年是2010冬天，一群小女生离乡背井，来到了上海。

这一个夜灯不息、奢华渲染的城市。

一个希望蜕变的女孩。

一个厌倦世俗的女生。

一个突然被梦叫醒的女生。

成熟。

这个字眼非常难用，但还是被世俗的人们泛滥的使用。

她，认为来到了一个新的地域。人可以开始蜕变、尝试自己所没被允许的事情。

她，因为迷惘而逃离到了另一个城市。可能是梦想，可能是理想。这也不尽然。

她，好不容易看到了自己的梦想成真，有点小自负、小开心、小迷失。

这三个人，能有怎样的改变呢？

会被环境所改变，还是改变了环境？

Thoughts of a moment.

2012-01-17T23:17:00.001+08:00

Sometimes we all need space, a tinny winny bracket to breathe.

I never understood why some people are worried about not wanting to come home.

It seem ironical. Because the fact that you're worried that you won't want to come home, is a sign that you do want to come home. You know? You geddit?

It's like…. I do miss home.

Occasionally, yes, the way people nag at me all the time, is just soooo frustrating.

I've got to report to people all the time when I'm back here.

I've got to talk even when I don't want to…

But it's a lot simpler than being back there.

Back there, I wander and loiter alone.

I do a lot of things and thinking alone.

Even when having a conversation, there is not much knowledge exchanged.

It's just daily life ramblings and non stop grumbling about Life and the great mighty Her.

It's depressing. Yet enjoying.

The fact that Life back there sets me in such a light that I always have to think twice, is different.

I come from a much normal background, with a much complicated father and very normal mother.

I was put into different paths and stories by my family.

I didn't enjoyed the true bliss of an only child, nobody dotes on me (in the material sense).

Life is just… different.

The way things swing around and change. Mmhm.

I'm not depressing.

I just feel like being thoughtful tonight.

黑

2012-01-02T19:30:00.001+08:00

黑色的我又再生
黑色的我笑天神
黑色的我随着失眠
潜逃入爱恨听

听
听自己的呼吸

看
看不见一瞬间
难道你没发现你是有多么幸福么

一直不停地说自己是虚壳
难道还不懂我在摔
不停的跌下去

需要呼吸

需要停止

真的不能窒息么

这个小鸡真的很可爱

2011-12-19T16:13:00.001+08:00

New sleeping mask

2011-12-14T23:22:00.001+08:00

New from the mail..
Terribly excited to witness the effects tomorrow morning!

Occasional ramblings

2011-12-08T23:32:00.001+08:00

Why am I afraid to laugh aloud, even though I'm empty inside?
No matter what, no matter where, I never fail to scare myself.
How deep, how shallow, how scheming, how ungrateful my inner soul is.
And it always voices back to one- people always speak for themselves. It's innate.

没有安全感是所有人的通病。

2011-12-07T19:58:00.001+08:00

[ 说谎的偏执狂]

这个世界上，
总有一个人是因为缺乏安全感而重复着说我爱你。

这个世界上。女人要的无非只有两样东西。

很多很多的安全感和很多很多的爱。

然而，就是这两样东西，男人们总是给不了齐全。

于是女人们用别的物质来填充。比如金钱、欲望。

[ 保质期 ]

任何东西的存在都开始有一个期限。超过某一个时间，将会被人们扔掉。

裸露在空气中的食物是最容易过期的。

香蕉，一个星期后就会变黄。荔枝，超过第二天也会变质。

食物会过期。水果会过期。瓶装的优酸乳会过期。就连保鲜纸也会过期。

我开始怀疑。这世界上，在这个世界上，还有什么东西是不会过期的。

爱情的保质期最多也就一辈子而已.

[ 做梦 ]

已经好几次梦到同一个地方。

某某路，某某号，外表看上去毫不起眼，

但是进去之后，却是一个偌大的气势恢宏的宫殿。

宫殿之上，是一片开阔的生活街区，还有大海，还有很多漂亮的房子。

而梦里的我也格外清秀，你知道，要在梦里记下路名是多么费力的事，

我还想下次叫上画师去拍照，可醒来后地址还是忘了。

[ 安全感 ]

人们常常没有安全感。所有人都也一样。极度缺乏安全感。

睡觉容易在半夜醒来的人。

醒来后的第一个反应是摸摸另一半是不是睡在自己的左边的人。

很多次醒来准备用左手去摸我们另一半的时候，发现自己的左手被另一半的右手握在手里。

那么你就该信了宿命，没有选择的。

也无须选择.

[ 其实，我爱你。始终不是一个人的动机。 ]

这是最好的时代。也是最坏的时代。

我们在经历一个速食爱情和快餐婚姻的年代。

分开得越来越快的原因，是因为，没有时间与耐心了解一个人。

更没有时间去原谅与守候一个人。

其实，我爱你,始终不是一个人的动机。

我要的只是,在一起.

[ 告诉我。告诉我爱你的理由。 ]

我们都爱。所以才拼命的做恋人之间做的事情。看电影。送巧克力。过情人节。

我问你，你爱我什么。你会不会说：就那么一眼，就装不下别人。

那么。告诉我。告诉我爱你的理由。

来吧，逃离宴会，赴一场别样的约会。

[ 寄生。 ]

在这个大城市里。

我举目无亲，所以我选择寄生。

寄生于你一个人.

我牵着你,你拉着我。

[ 我最害怕的事。 ]

被忘却被记得都是别人的事

那是一段记忆，或者一段时光。

我最害怕的不是没有尽头的等待。我最害怕的不是世界末日。

我最害怕的不是饥饿，不是疾病，不是贫穷。也不是死亡。

我最害怕，我会记得你，然后爱别人。你会记得我，也会爱别人。

我最害怕的事，是我最终没有能嫁给你。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

我得承认，我是个俗人。骨子里更加偏爱自私的人。

那一生一世，生生世世的承诺。始终没有兑现。

可能我放荡。让人家不安。

偏执狂就是这样。

爱情就是这样。

为另一半欢喜或浮躁。

占有欲和控制欲都是爱情的必须品。

只是要度量而行。

不要因为太强的占有欲和控制欲而吵架。

不要因为太爱而分。

那不值得。

我是爱情里那个有点小欢喜小浮躁的偏执狂。

某人,我爱你,我要和你一直在一起。

不解释,你懂的。

( 给唯一的你 )

Of food lately

2011-11-29T18:19:00.001+08:00

Home-made steamboat for two

烤木鱼店

Painful lesson on getting your iPhone stolen

2011-11-23T17:50:00.001+08:00

Yup, like what the title suggests.............. my iPhone was stolen today.
The exact minute I walked away from the drink stall, along with my friends.
And only because I chucked my iPhone in my pullover's pocket, which is pretty shallow. (So it's easier for them too)

It's partly my fault because I'm negligent.
But what really made my heart ache, my blood boil is that... I actually felt the thief slipping his hand into my pocket and taking it out. LIKE SUM PA A MILLION TIMES.

My dad calls it a lesson in life, because I've never gotten my phone stolen, even back in Singapore.
But isn't it painful!?!??!?!?!

Plus I was having a uber crappy day.
I really think I'm overstressed by............ let's just say, I don't know.
Or it's just not very easy to actually word it.

Goodbye for now.
Until I get another iPhone in replacement.

Damage done

2011-11-22T22:13:00.001+08:00

Everything needs chemistry and time

2011-11-21T21:47:00.001+08:00

There is no easy way out for anything.
You reap what you sow, just varying in degree or quantity.

There is a saying that to hold a proper conversation, one needs to have a healthy attitude before conversing. The content may not be important but the listener and speaker's attitude are detrimental. So there's probably why nothing goes smoothly here in Shanghai.

No one here holds any conversation with a healthy attitude. Not even me.

In all to sum up, I feel that any relationship requires both chemistry and time. That's perhaps the sole reason why I say kinship weigh a lot more than any forms of relation. (Eg a proper family etc etc)

Awkwardly disgusting whatsapp conversation

2011-11-20T12:22:00.001+08:00

~.~ my friend just sent me this early in the morning......

This is tmd outrightly disgusting. In a group convo too?!? REALLY?!?

A sister and her sister

2011-11-20T02:29:00.001+08:00

Our sister with her lil sister visiting from Singapore

Chiobu housemate

2011-11-19T17:36:00.001+08:00

Lunatics prancing around

2011-11-17T23:20:00.001+08:00

My house mate finally did it!!! She went around hopping along the streets, happily singing out of tune songs and I joyfully joined her...... ~.~

This is exactly why we are house mates. To the lunatics!

This is how you can drive me mad

2011-11-16T19:32:00.001+08:00

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart. Try this twice and I'll erupt on you.

Happy belated, Tina!

2011-11-16T11:23:00.001+08:00

Hope your 20th was spent cheerfully and may your wishes all come true. X.

Autumn trip

2011-11-15T18:24:00.001+08:00

Out near the harbor, in the drizzling rain.

Hello

2011-11-14T15:58:00.001+08:00

I'm back to the blogosphere already.
Decided that since I already purchased my VPN, it's about time to actually... start writing down my daily bits!
Check out this space soon! ;)